Circle in the Sand

My mom is probably the most sincere and least stuffy person I know. There are no pretenses with her. She is outrageously practical and has an incredible ability to give advice that’s simple and profound and just makes things make sense. When it comes to being a mama, she’s a gold mine of wisdom, all of it kind and encouraging and uncomplicated.

I fail a dozen times a day, and sometimes I let myself linger on the mess-ups. And before you know it, I’ve convinced myself that I’ve damaged/hurt/ruined my baby for good. I was lamenting to her about one such situation one day. She patiently listened and then responded. And what she shared has forever changed me.

“It’s like a circle in the sand.”

Huh?

“When you draw a circle in the sand one time, it lasts for a little bit, but it’s quickly swept away by the wind or washed away by the waves. It doesn’t last for long. But when you draw the same circle in the sand over and over - that’s what lasts. And over time, that circle becomes deep and permanent. What you do consistently is what matters. Doing the same thing - drawing the same circle - over and over is what will shape him.”

I remember being blown away in the moment, and it stills gets me every time I think about that simple and stunning visual. I think about it a lot because honestly, it applies to every area of life. Parenting, yes, but also faith and health and friendships and love. Everything. What we do over and over again is what will shape us.

It’s heavy and freeing all at once.

Heavy because it makes me realize that what I do - big and small - matters. I love the saying, “how you spend your days is how you spend your life.” Such a great reminder that what I do consistently is what defines my life.

And it’s freeing because a circle that isn’t yet deep can be cut off and will soon disappear. And even a deep one can be cut off. We can choose to start drawing new circles. And we can know that if we stray from our good, deep circles and draw a stray circle that is unhealthy or unhelpful or hurtful, it won’t undo the good that’s been done. In fact, it will soon be swept or washed away if we stop drawing it.

For better or worse, consistency shapes us. And we have the power to shape ourselves, our own little worlds, and the big world with the circles we draw in the sand.